Ode to the Perfect Manager

Oct 26th, 2022

We think of Shakespeare as the epitome of romantic poetry. In actuality, Elizabeth Beth Browning created the nostalgic sonnet “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” What many may not realize was that Browning’s poetry was placing tangible qualities on the abstract emotion of love. Love doesn’t have to be romantic; it can be a form of respect and appreciation. For example, how many times do we proclaim, “I love this manager”? Many of us can’t verbalize why we love certain managers. I’d like to put some context to this ethereal emotion. I’ll share what I have learned through my interactions with clients at The O’Connor Group to describe the most respected qualities of leadership.

I dare not try to replicate the rhythmic prose of Elizabeth Beth Browning, but here is my attempt:

Ode to the Perfect Manager. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

• You are approachable: When I ask for your time, you are welcoming. You have many priorities on your plate, but you never show your level of stress. You grant me undivided attention. You have the aptitude to listen intently to me and know me, and in later conversations you even incorporate details from our previous conversations. You remember names, and experiences that are meaningful to me in your advice.
• You give me specific feedback: During any occasion to provide feedback, you are specific with what you liked or didn’t like about my performance. For example, you state,” I liked how you wrote this proposal. I liked the detail you placed in the budget and how you accurately portrayed the milestones and goals for this project. Here is what I would like to challenge you to do. I want you to ask a few of the other departments to see what they think about this proposal, and I encourage you to get specific feedback from these departments and incorporate them into your proposal.”
• You offer me a buffet of professional advice which keeps me coming back for more: I can come to you for questions I have, and you may even notice that I ask your advice for new projects I encounter. The reason I come to you is that you provide me a roadmap to guide me to a successful result. You also have the talent to give me several options to consider ensuring the responsibility rests on my shoulders to do the work and steer my own self development.
• You credit my ideas even if they are bad: The second most daunting task is to pitch a new idea to management. What’s the first most daunting task? It would be watching the color drain out of those managers expressions with that “what were you thinking?” emotion plastered on their faces. You take my ideas with a grain of salt, and instead of questioning the idea you may respond with, “I like where you are going with this, but let’s think about how the idea may affect these people, or these customers.” You challenge my thinking.
• You make me work smarter: When I wrote number 5, I initially wrote, “you make me work harder”. I realized later that the more appropriate term is “smarter”. When I finish speaking with you, I am motivated and energized. You help me break down my work and even give me ideas to delegate. I am more energized to accomplish more for you and help assist you with the overall vision of the company.
• You see the positive, even in times of change: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Yet in both times you remain the same, calm, and assured we are heading in the right direction. Times of change are things most managers struggle with. Perhaps there is a change in organizational structure, or an implementation of a new process tool. These changes always cause frustration to individual contributors, and as a manager it’s easy to get sucked into the frenzy, and exclaim “I don’t like this process either, but we have to do it!”. You on the other hand are too smart for that. When changes occur, you maintain a positive demeanor, resolve the questions, and promote the new process by reminding us of the thinking that went into the change. You work with your team to identify the specific issues to refine these changes. You realize your role is to get all members on board and you empower us to think of solutions to encounter these changes.
• You have the humility to ask me what I think: You have a gift of informing me of what is going on in other departments or in executive meetings, and you ask me what I think about certain decisions that have been made. This question not only makes me feel included, but it educates me about the big picture of the organization.
• You look out for me even in times I can’t look out for myself: When you attend executive meetings you search for committees, work sessions, and training that may be occurring, and you reach out to me and get me involved in these teams to further my learning. You promote me to the C Suite and ensure your colleagues know me even before we meet. I would have never known about these opportunities had you not thought to involve me.